Where Was This Gem Hiding?!?!

So basically I was going to blog about all these movies I watched with my step-mom and one of those movies was 'Clueless'. And then I found THIS:

Hitchcock Blonde: Ingrid Bergman

I was going to title this "My Favorite Hitchcock Blonde" but while currently watching Eva Saint Marie's performance in "North By Northwest" the title is now being fought between the two. And also maybe Tippi Hedren. Or Kim Novak. Alls I know is, Hitchcock picked some highly-praisable actresses!

One of my favorite Hitchcock films is "Notorious". It's one of his earlier films, but has all the elements of his infamous style.

The film was on the other day RIGHT after "All About Eve". It was a Turner Classic Wet Dream.

Anywho, here is a really adorable video of Ingrid Bergman, Alfred Hitchcock, and a little key you may remember if you saw "Notorious".

Busy Day = YouTube

Hi hello.

I worked all day and then Joann and I went to IKEA for the rest of the day.

Also, stopped into Applebee's for their nightly High School reunion basically.

Enjoy this video and your FOURTH OF JULY!

It's part four of "Welcome to our House".

I hope you like Juli and Jackie because HERE THEY ARE:

Lucy and Ethel or Something

Well hello!

Yesterday I represented the boys by showcasing (showboating?) two funny guys from NY so now I will represent the ladies with two YouTube clips of "Julie and Jackie.

The first one is called "Mommy Time" and is the fascinating story of two mommy's and their children's playdate. Carol Channing cameo:



The second one is a parody of the campiest video ever, Brenda Dickson's "Welcome to my Home" vanity video. If you haven't seen the original, you may not find it funny but you can watch the original HERE and the parody is down below:



Have a wonderful day.

Abott and Costello or Something

Ahh July!

What do you have on your schedule?

Oh I see, you have the following:

Island Party 2K8


There will also be camping in Connecticut the following weekend, trips to Philly, and trips to NY.

Hopefully this fun will and seep and overflow into our beloved 'No Nasties'!

Also, bonus video of this comedy duo my friend Jordan introduced me to that I cannot get enough of:



I haven't put up YouTube videos in a bit, so HERE THEY ARE.

Enjoy them.

YouTube: The Voice of the People

Every now and then I like to look at YouTube and see what the people of the world have to say about The Teenagers' video "Love No". Most of the comments are weird:

Even on the anonymous internet my orientation is called into question.

Sure, I'll do birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, civil unions, and retirement parties. Cost of my appearance does not cover the cost of (soy) ice cream.

Aw shucks. I hope I do not become typecast as "the boy with the lollipop".

The best thing about the video was going to NY and rollerskating all day.

Hiyo!

A Terrorist Fist Jab?

Hello.

This is an automated post updated while I am on vacation.

This is old news.

But it combines many things No Nasties loves:

YouTube, Inflections, Fox News looking Silly, and Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy Obama.

Enjoy



In her defense, she did apologize for her statement saying she had NO intention of implying that she thought that Obama's fist jab WAS a terrorist jab and that she was not trying to associate the word terrorism with Obama.

It's up to you to decide.

See you soon!

I Never Said I Wasn't Gonna Tell Nobody

Okay. "Two of Hearts" has got to be one of the greatest songs ever (it was 98 on Vh1's 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders).

The song has been a crucial soundtrack throughout my life.

Age 5: Played every time I was dragged to my mother's aerobics class on Tuesdays.

Age 10: I saw the Facts of Life episode where Tootie tries to perform this song.

Age 16: Watched Party Monster where this was also featured.

Age 19: First time I went to the Barbary this song played just as we were about to leave. Naturally we stayed.

Anyways. Here is Tootie's experience with Stacey Q:



How bad does that make you want to play it on the piano?? Anyone? Also, Stacey Q is obscenely skinny!

Party Monster:



Of course the original:



Of course a Kelly Osbourne cover:



And for being such patient blog readers, here are some mp3's:

A new cover by Purple Crush.

A cover by Junk Mag and nightlife photographer Brad Walsh.

And of course, the original.

Enjoy your cheesy 80's music.

All I Do is Write Papers on Movies

This time it's for Spanish and it's a thriller from 1996.

Enjoy "Tesis"

Did You Eat Chicken Pot Pies?

I've been on a Parker Posey kick lately. I can't get enough of this:



The movie is a combination of Parker Posey, (explicit) Jackie O references, twincest (I'm an only child so it's cool that I like it), and campy dialogue (despite the author saying the play is NOT camp).

I just started reading the play "House of Yes" and it's all very exciting.

Also in Parker Posey news, this next clip is really funny to me because a nervous lady comes into Starbucks every day and has the same haircut and braces that Parker Posey's character does in Best in Show:



This week has been absolutely crazy stressful.

I'm ready for summatime.

Oh When Times Were Simpler

Quiz:

1. How many seconds do you think these commercials would last on television these days?

2. How many seconds do you think these commercials would last on television if Gloria Allred and Rosie O'Donnell didn't exist?

3. Do you think these commercials would be more interesting if a young, pre-feminist Gloria Steinem played the neighbor lady?

4. How much do you hate instant coffee?

5. Divorce rates were at an all-time low during the 1950's and babies were poppin' out left and right. Why was this?

a.) Women could not obtain financial independence due to the limited job opportunities available to them
b.) Religious faith was still strong, keeping divorce socially taboo
c.) Because the man of the house said "No divorces!" and that was that. Sure, there were tears, but she dried her eyes after hubbie took her out to get a new pair of nylons
d.) Foldger's Instant Coffee (tastes like fresh perked!) allowed the wife to stop making shitty coffee and make her man happy, and thus allowing the marriage to be perfect.

~*~*Bonus Question*~*~

For men: What are your odds of finding a woman like that?

For women: How long would you put up with a man like that?

I'll give you a minute and a dashed line to finish the quiz.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Correct answers:

1. The commercials would air once and then be immediately pulled off. People would speak out, Vh1 would make jokes about it, and lezzies the world over would be furious.

2. Without Gloria Allred and Rosie O, these commericals would be on 24 hour rotation (well okay, only during Fox News broadcasts)

3. Yes, I believe it would be equivalent to Ivory Soap having a porn star in their commercials.

4. I hate instant coffee more than you'll EVER know.

5. d for DUH

Bonus Questions

Men: There are surprisingly many women like this in the world (Sports Barz)

Women: You would never put up with a man like that.

Beauty is Pain

This ties in to a conversation Hannah and I were having about people who are good looking and people who are good looking and know it.

Enjoy! Narcissism

Another One of Those Bergman Sort of Days

Ingmar Bergman, the Swede who launched a thousand artsy student films, is widely recognized as the greatest director of avant-garde and even modern cinema. Apart from directing the deadly VHS tape in the Ring (psych!) he has made billions of films synonymous with existentialism, bleakness, and creepy soundtracks.

On a side note, black and white seems to be a very popular choice for existentialist work (See my last post on the new Camus book covers).

French and Saunders are widely recognized as the greatest satirists of all time (in my household), so it's only natural that these two titans of spoofery would take on the Thor of cinema.

For an annotated guide to Bergman films and a good laugh, watch this clip:

Classical Movie Trailer Parks

Don't let VH1 or the Save the Music Foundation fool you. Nobody listens to classical music anymore. I also sincerely doubt anyone can even play a classical musical instrumental instrument either. The public education system uses all those funds they receive from that "organization" to fund other things like... I don't know, HPV vaccinations and field hockey fields to keep their names in the paper.

High School bands?
Alicia Keys?
Violin solo talent shows?

Lies.

But do not worry.

A small, noble organization has taken upon itself to use classical music in an interesting way.

Yes, from the people who gave us 'Saving Private Ryan' and eating disorders, Hollywood has taken the symphonies and requiems and applied them to high-quality cinematic trailers.

Here are some highlights:

Elephant



Ah 'Elephant'. Better known as '81 Minutes of Walking Around a School'. The trailer features the well-known classical piece 'Fur Elise'. The troubled Columbine-esque antagonist plays this piece throughout the movie. I believe, much like 120 Days of Sodom or Mein Kampf, this movie gets flagged with the government when you rent it or something. So... be careful. Big Blockbuster is watching (what you rent).

Funny Games



The film snobs are up in arms about this movie! It's a shot by shot remake by the director of the original Austrian film 'Funny Games'. Fans do not know whether to hate it or love it. Either way, they will probably still assert that "they liked the original better when they saw it TEN YEARS AGO". I do not have an opinion since I have not seen the original. Props to Claire for being able to identify the song from the trailer. My favorite part is around 1:42 when the boy makes a silly face and the Michael Pitt makes a bang sound. When I saw this trailer in the theater I, like most other film fans, noticed the similarities to another movie favorite of mine. See if you can figure it out. HINT: It makes this list.

Battle Royale



Everyday that I sit in my Japanese class, this movie is all I think about. I also like to think about how long I would last in Battle Royale. Hopefully we'll never know. The film is set in a futuristic Japan where the kids are bad. So bad in fact, that every year a class is chosen from the country and all the kids are sent to an island where they have to kill each other. Sailor Moon, where are you?! If you're interested, you can watch the full movie here.

A Clockwork Orange



Ahhh yes. Remember when I really liked this movie? Good times. The trailer is great. It has that oh so important style-over-substance aspect. You do not get a nice understanding of the plot but rather a lovely case of the epilepsy.


What do all of these movies have in common? Artsy violence. The BEST kind of gore porn. Leading me to conclude that classical music is bad and should be banned from public schools, not encouraged.

Take a stand.

Keep music (and Beyonce Knowles) out of your children's elementary schools.

Interweb Sensations

The semester is winding down and that means I am bombarded with work.

Tonight for instance, I need to memorize 20 Japanese verbs and conjugate them into some weird tense that the American language does not even have. A whole tense to express being extra-polite when asking to do something?? Absurd.

Also I need to write a five page paper as to why Henry David Thoreau, Mahatmas Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. are all similar. All I've got so far is that they are a bunch of dead white guys who did super-violent things to oppress their fellow people. The end.

So to keep you entertained while I suffer, I will donate to you, one YouTube video AND a website to provide some jokes for you.

Donation One: "Christmas Tree". This fellow produces some high-quality funny stuff. His 'Jackie and Debra' video is a bit funnier but I thought the Christmas tree video was more topical since billions of trees are being cut down every minute.


Donation Two: Your Scene Sucks

The latest contribution to poking fun at stereotypes (see: Hipster Handbook, Star Wars franchise, Ann Coulter) is the interweb sensation and book 'Your Scene Sucks'. Some stuff hits dead on, while other stuff I never even heard of. Oh well. **Bonus points if you can find yourself!!!**

Rats in the Cellar

The best way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon is watching an old-timey movie. Specifically "What ever Happened to Baby Jane?". The classic tale of the ups-and-downs of Hollywood and the ups-and-downs of putting Joan Crawford and Bette Davis in the same movie.

If you're fascinated by Bette Davis' baby-hag look, do not fear! It can be obtained easily at Urban Outfitters. Who would ever guess that UO would sell terribly unattractive clothes suitable for mentally unstable old women??

Clear off the moth balls on your grammy's Sunday best dresses! It's time to go back in time and relive her (or maybe your) glory days. It helps if your grammy / nana / etc. was a child during the 20's. I feel like the designers of the Urban Outfitters dress were watching the movie while sketching the design. Add a ribbon to it and it's basically exactly like the one in the clip. The headband keeps back your matted manes and also says "Hey, I'm old, but I know what the kidz like" with shimmering shining ~*jewels*~. As far as jewelry goes, just throw on as much junk and metallic things as possible (bangles and clangy things will let people know you're coming, and they'll appreciate that!). Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis' character) loves alcohol almost as much as regular Urban Outfitters shoppers so a glass bottle necklace is the perfect way to tote around your little "pick-me-up" to get through your day, one sip at a time*. For finishing touches, shellac and schmear pancake make-up on to hide / fill in those wrinkles. Tammy Faye Baker (RIP) probably took inspiration from the "Bette Davis eyes" featured in this film. Use fake eye-lashes or perhaps just coat your eyes every half hour in thick black mascara. Lastly, a little drawn on heart-shaped beauty mark will really let the boys know you're in it to win it!

Enjoy what remains of your Sunday night!

*No Nasties does not condone alcoholism, but ya know, if it keeps you going, it's better than being dead right? Right.

It Has Begun

Well I've finally decided to actually write here. I don't know where it's going to go really. But you can BET that there will be some good times ahead.

Things to count on:

• Adventures
• Photographic images
• Jenny G
• Thrifting
• Incorporation of four different languages
  
• Occurrences in Philadelphia
• Happenings in the Lehigh Valley
• Hannah
• Fiestas de Temple
• Cooking and Baking
• Crying
  
• Tears
• Sewing up those tears
• General YouTubery
• Advanced YouTubery
  
• Much much more!

So why 'No Nasties'? Well, it's the way in which I live. How does one define a 'nastie'? It can be anything from High Fructose Corn Syrup to uncommonly foggy weather during November when you think you do not have to worry to much about humidity but BAM, there it is. By reading this blog I hope you, the reader, can learn from my no nasties lifestyle and embrace all things enjoyable and invigorating.

To get us off on the right foot, here is one of my most favorite things given to me by one of my most favorite persons, Jordan: