Catch Some Rays

More summer-themed posting!

I was google image searching for "pool part splash" or something and I came across and a "Carnivla [sic] Cruise Lines childrens activities".

http://www.endlessjourneys.com/carnival%20cruise%20fam.htm

Activity highlights for kids:

Pizza pig-out. Disgugtious!

Rap breakfast:
"Yo yo, I want eggs ma,
none of ya smegma
Sunny side up
OJ in my cup
WHAT."

Disco party (teenz only!!!11oneone)
Mousercizing.

Zany balloon people.

"Can you count? (bitch)"

Cocktail party. Oddly enough, this one is for the 9-13 set.
Oh well. I guess that is the age range for when you truly start to emulate your parents worst/best behaviours and social practices.

So book your CRNVL CRUZ today!!!

Don't Forget Your Floaties!

It's really really hot and humid today. I want to dive right into this ring from Swatch. I saw this in a magazine and was smitten!

It also reminded me of this gem:

Hockney's "A Bigger Splash"

And then of course I thought of this:

Hockney's "Neat Lawn"

Brilliant.

I want a pool and / or sprinkler.

The New You: Part 1

I do not know anything about this series of advice that seem to be from the 50's except that my very good friend (and up-and-coming playwright) Jordan S. gave me these and that they are perfect to blog about when I have zero time to do so.

More to come!

Choose Noncomformity, Choose McDonald's

Suck it McDonald's and the advertising jerk who came up with this ad:



Nothing says "Hey, I'm an individual" like eating chicken from McDonald's for breakfast.

Obviously targeting people who consider themselves "alternative, individuals, and artsy kids".

Favorite part is when the crzy sk8r boi holds up the sandwich and says "LET'S HEAR IT FOR NONCONFORMITY!"

Geeze louise.

Well if everyone's "tastes are changing" they're obviously changing for the worse. My vegan views aside, everyone should be aware that there are so many garbage ingredients loaded into all of their food and eating a chicken sandwich on a biscuit is just plain silly.

If you're going to conform, conform to a healthy lifestyle!

I also saw another commercial in which two African American ladies are discussing their grandmother's famous southern fried chicken and how much they just love friend chicken while making their own fried chicken and thankfully McDonald's has delicious southern fried chicken just like they remember eating while growing up in the south.

Does this strike anyone else as racist or is my PC mind just going into overdrive?

Sorry for using foul language!

I Never Said I Wasn't Gonna Tell Nobody

Okay. "Two of Hearts" has got to be one of the greatest songs ever (it was 98 on Vh1's 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders).

The song has been a crucial soundtrack throughout my life.

Age 5: Played every time I was dragged to my mother's aerobics class on Tuesdays.

Age 10: I saw the Facts of Life episode where Tootie tries to perform this song.

Age 16: Watched Party Monster where this was also featured.

Age 19: First time I went to the Barbary this song played just as we were about to leave. Naturally we stayed.

Anyways. Here is Tootie's experience with Stacey Q:



How bad does that make you want to play it on the piano?? Anyone? Also, Stacey Q is obscenely skinny!

Party Monster:



Of course the original:



Of course a Kelly Osbourne cover:



And for being such patient blog readers, here are some mp3's:

A new cover by Purple Crush.

A cover by Junk Mag and nightlife photographer Brad Walsh.

And of course, the original.

Enjoy your cheesy 80's music.

Ducks about Ducks

Sorry for the skipped update! I was on a picnic with some ducks and friends.

Tons of vegan treats and lots of laughs.

Ya know.

For full update visit Jen's blog.

Hair Couture and Paranormal Dinner Parties

One of my dad's favorite movies of all time is "Beetlejuice".

He and I must have watched it one-thousand times while I was growing up.

The most famous scene of course is the dinner party performance of "the Banana Boat Song"

Since I was three, I've always been fascinated with the lady in green during this scene:



Her name is Adelle Lutz and she is half Japanese and half German.

It turns out she is also is a fashion designer and her clothing is weird and worth mentioning as well.
Adorable!

Text Messages from Carl

Sometimes my Chinese-German-American friend likes to send me jokes via text messages.

It's basically like those ads you see on TV for joke texts because I mostly get ethnic jokes but it differs in that it's free.

Today's joke text:

"What does Snoop Dog say to 50 Cent when he gave him a sweater as a gift?"

My response was "Thank you for the thoughtful gift. I really cherish our friendship."

The correct answer was "Gee you knit?"

Enjoy your lazy Sunday!

Snoop and 50 showing the photographer the direction of the bathroom.

Where the New Heart Is

Please see if any of the following applies to you:

A) Live in the Lehigh Valley
B) Ur a sk8r
C) Have friends that skate
D) Like free giveaways with purchases
E) You enjoy Bethlehem steel
F) Have never seen a grand [re]opening before
G) Like to have good times with good people

THEN COME ON DOWN to the new Homebase Skateshop.

It's allll local and not lame with lots of fun things like sales, jokes, and photoshow etc. etc.

It's going to be nuts.

I'm trying to be there and so should you.

All the info you need is on the above flyer.

Marvelous Musical Meredith

Today is the birthday of my very good friend Meredith Unger!

She was my very first friend I ever made on my own (ya know, it was preschool and making friends without parental intervention was a rather big deal!).

We got along really well that our friendship lasted past elementary, middle, and into high school which is a little rare since it was common to have a new BFF every day in elementary school or fight over silly things.

Our friendship lasted right up until her death on February 15th, 2004.

Because blogging is a terrible way to give birthday presents, I will just post the trailer to this terribly cheesy movie that Meredith and I loved to watch everyday in Kindergarten. We even sang the songs at our Kindergarten graduation.

Miss ya piles Meregoof!

Paris is no Stranger to Controversy

"Be young and shutup"

Forty years ago one warm May, French students and workers took to the streets in protest!

Simply, students were sick of the conservative majority and being put down by the older generations.

Eventually things got pretty violent and as always, the police got REALLY violent and this lent some sympathy to the students.

And then since history repeats itself, France's government collapsed for the neuf-centième time, and a new one was put in place.

More or less exciting than the French Revolution!

So how will you celebrate?

Will you lock yourself up in your Parisian flat with your twin and newly befriended American for a little incestuous menage-a-trois and old timey movie references?


Or maybe center your advertising campaign for your high-end avant-garde couture line around it since, as Vice magazine says, "it went from funny to verboten to fashionable because it went from funny to verboten".

For example this:
Became this:


Either way,

"Je me souviens"
"I remember"

(Which is the slogan for Quebec, but hey, it works here too)

Where Can I Get More of this??

I found this old wrapping paper in my old backpack and I want more of it.


In other news, I had breakfast with my grandparents and their old people friend's and I would like to provide you with old people update:

-- Everything is expensive
-- What happened to penny candy?
-- "Why would you rather live in the city?"
-- Everything is getting stolen (especially by the P***** R*cans) [not my grandparents view]
-- "That Joy Behar is a loudmouth"

And other incoherent ramblings.

But I love my weekly visits!

Also, if you have a hankering for super delicious food (and have extra money to spare) come eat at BALASIA. 5 - 11. I'll be there serving delicacies with a smile.

Allons a la "yard sale"

Cory Kennedy loves yard sales a lot. From hosting her own, to co-hosting with a certain nightlife photographer, and even to travel across the Atlantic for one, she loves a good deal / making money off of selling her schtuff.

Highlights:

--The kids who did not speak English and got all confused
--Nu-rave style still going strong! ( bleh )
--The vendor complaining about twelve year olds having Jeremy Scott bags and then the camera cutting to Cory Kennedy ( booya! )
--An appearance by Uffie ( once via a POSTER and once via FOREAL )
--The camera girl teaching a French girl how to properly ask for a lighter and then denying her

How many euros would you bring to a yard sale like this?

Usually I can just bring ten bucks to my local yard sale and be able to buy most anything.

Of course, those yard sales do not have Kid Robot toys, Hot Chip vinyls, and neon sunglasses. But they do have tons of Disney items.

For a glimpse at what most of the yard sales I have been to look like go here:

http://www.yardsalebloodbath.com/

Now that yard sale season is in full swing, GO GO GO!

In other related news, Kermit the Frog and Fozzie are on the View right now! How fun.

Nastie Gawker

So I read Gawker from time to time ( once in the morning, and then once at night ) and it just so happens that they posted the American Apparel video today, one I posted three days ago!

Basically, I'm just excited I could blog about something before they did.

That is all.

Oh wait also, another Wonder Showzen clip (I really miss it).

MTV2's Wonder Showzen - When I Grow Up

White People

Wonder Showzen's A Celebration of White People Throughout History from MTV2

If there's one thing I miss, it's the bizarre humor of Wonder Showzen.

As a white person, I like having fun and this weather and not having a car means I am not having fun.

Boo!

オフィス

In honor of Hannah and I's future trip to Japan and the season finale of the Office, I present you with the Digital Short of the origin of the Office featured on SNL this past Saturday.

Also, run-on sentence.

Peculiar Porcelain

This following porcelain figurines made by Barnaby Barford are not your nana's precious moments.

Titled: "Come on Alan you little bitch"

Titled: "If my father could see me now..."

Titled: "Put that on YouTube"

Titled: "Dear Lord, for what we are about to receive make us truly thankful"

Titled: "Come on you lightweight, Down it!"

Titled: "Mary had a little lamb"

So there you have it. I think I have a new obsession!

Stay tuned for more bizarre figurines and for a really hilarious post about a nightclub in York, Pennsylvania.

American Apparel Backlash Continues

I'm sure you feel it too.

A shift in the lamé, an uneasiness amongst the acid wash, a sort of bandeau relapse.

That's right, we're deep v-neck deep in an American Apparel backlash.

Is it the $$$?

The sleaziness of all their ads?

Or is it the fact that a deep v and a colorful hoodie has become a staple/stock outfit for Philadelphia and most cities?

While you ponder that, look at this cute little video from Current TV.

I especially like the song about t-shirts.

ENJOY.

Birth Daze Wishes

Things I would not mind having on my birthday:

A Case Study House. Or more realistically, the Taschen book about the case study houses.

Cola with lime. The drink featured above has rum in it which would be okay with me as well.

But I would prefer to have Steaz brand green tea cola since it does not have high fructose corn syrup in it.



Babs has been pushing this book all week and I would not mind reading it. **BONUS** features include jabs at Star Jones, who has been waiting for a moment to come up in the news and bam, here she is and I still dislike her.

A leather bomber or member's only jacket. Preferably second-hand so I won't feel entirely guilty about wearing leather. Plus Philly phasion icon and vegan Lacie Z sports one well.

A trip to Vegan Treats.

DD iced coffee sans cream and sugar but with coconut flavoring. Also, I hope you all got your free coffee yesterday. I wanted to go many times but momma wasn't having it.

My car to work again.

The Three P's (PBR, Peanut butter, and peeing) with phriends in Philly*.

So that's that I s'pose.

Replacing F's with a ph to make it related to Philadelphia will never get old.

Oh! Also, Allentown had a shout out in the season finale of The Office last night. It's where Jan has her Lamaze class. It's a rather long drive between Allentown and Scranton... oh well.

So did you ever think you could despise Perez Hilton anymore than you already do?

What about Hot Topic?

What about nu-rave?

Well how about we just roll these all up together?

Perez Hilton revealed his brand new line of terrible clothes that match the terribleness that is him and the terribleness that is Hot Topic.

He has effectively created a perfect storm of awful.

The line features some new things that Hot Topic has never sold like checkerboard pants and pink studded belts.

Also, Kanye West glasses?

Weird weird.

All I Do is Write Papers on Movies

This time it's for Spanish and it's a thriller from 1996.

Enjoy "Tesis"

This is Absolutely No Time for a Festen

Or blogging I suppose.

Either way, here is the scene I am currently analyzing for a five page paper due in sixteen hours.

That's plenty of time right?

I just gotta squeeze in a three page paper on Baby Jesus' crib in eleven hours and a meeting with a realtor.

Did I mention that apartment hunting and filling out leases and going to notaries and dropping $250+ in deposits so far ($1500+ more to go!) on Japanese stuff AND South St. stuff is driving me bonkers?