Rats in the Cellar

The best way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon is watching an old-timey movie. Specifically "What ever Happened to Baby Jane?". The classic tale of the ups-and-downs of Hollywood and the ups-and-downs of putting Joan Crawford and Bette Davis in the same movie.

If you're fascinated by Bette Davis' baby-hag look, do not fear! It can be obtained easily at Urban Outfitters. Who would ever guess that UO would sell terribly unattractive clothes suitable for mentally unstable old women??

Clear off the moth balls on your grammy's Sunday best dresses! It's time to go back in time and relive her (or maybe your) glory days. It helps if your grammy / nana / etc. was a child during the 20's. I feel like the designers of the Urban Outfitters dress were watching the movie while sketching the design. Add a ribbon to it and it's basically exactly like the one in the clip. The headband keeps back your matted manes and also says "Hey, I'm old, but I know what the kidz like" with shimmering shining ~*jewels*~. As far as jewelry goes, just throw on as much junk and metallic things as possible (bangles and clangy things will let people know you're coming, and they'll appreciate that!). Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis' character) loves alcohol almost as much as regular Urban Outfitters shoppers so a glass bottle necklace is the perfect way to tote around your little "pick-me-up" to get through your day, one sip at a time*. For finishing touches, shellac and schmear pancake make-up on to hide / fill in those wrinkles. Tammy Faye Baker (RIP) probably took inspiration from the "Bette Davis eyes" featured in this film. Use fake eye-lashes or perhaps just coat your eyes every half hour in thick black mascara. Lastly, a little drawn on heart-shaped beauty mark will really let the boys know you're in it to win it!

Enjoy what remains of your Sunday night!

*No Nasties does not condone alcoholism, but ya know, if it keeps you going, it's better than being dead right? Right.