Classical Movie Trailer Parks

Don't let VH1 or the Save the Music Foundation fool you. Nobody listens to classical music anymore. I also sincerely doubt anyone can even play a classical musical instrumental instrument either. The public education system uses all those funds they receive from that "organization" to fund other things like... I don't know, HPV vaccinations and field hockey fields to keep their names in the paper.

High School bands?
Alicia Keys?
Violin solo talent shows?

Lies.

But do not worry.

A small, noble organization has taken upon itself to use classical music in an interesting way.

Yes, from the people who gave us 'Saving Private Ryan' and eating disorders, Hollywood has taken the symphonies and requiems and applied them to high-quality cinematic trailers.

Here are some highlights:

Elephant



Ah 'Elephant'. Better known as '81 Minutes of Walking Around a School'. The trailer features the well-known classical piece 'Fur Elise'. The troubled Columbine-esque antagonist plays this piece throughout the movie. I believe, much like 120 Days of Sodom or Mein Kampf, this movie gets flagged with the government when you rent it or something. So... be careful. Big Blockbuster is watching (what you rent).

Funny Games



The film snobs are up in arms about this movie! It's a shot by shot remake by the director of the original Austrian film 'Funny Games'. Fans do not know whether to hate it or love it. Either way, they will probably still assert that "they liked the original better when they saw it TEN YEARS AGO". I do not have an opinion since I have not seen the original. Props to Claire for being able to identify the song from the trailer. My favorite part is around 1:42 when the boy makes a silly face and the Michael Pitt makes a bang sound. When I saw this trailer in the theater I, like most other film fans, noticed the similarities to another movie favorite of mine. See if you can figure it out. HINT: It makes this list.

Battle Royale



Everyday that I sit in my Japanese class, this movie is all I think about. I also like to think about how long I would last in Battle Royale. Hopefully we'll never know. The film is set in a futuristic Japan where the kids are bad. So bad in fact, that every year a class is chosen from the country and all the kids are sent to an island where they have to kill each other. Sailor Moon, where are you?! If you're interested, you can watch the full movie here.

A Clockwork Orange



Ahhh yes. Remember when I really liked this movie? Good times. The trailer is great. It has that oh so important style-over-substance aspect. You do not get a nice understanding of the plot but rather a lovely case of the epilepsy.


What do all of these movies have in common? Artsy violence. The BEST kind of gore porn. Leading me to conclude that classical music is bad and should be banned from public schools, not encouraged.

Take a stand.

Keep music (and Beyonce Knowles) out of your children's elementary schools.