Coffee Shopping: Lehigh Valley

Did you know that Voltaire drank more than fifty cups of coffee a day??

It's true.

So do not worry about OD-ing on America's most popular drug (legal or illegal, take THAT meth-heads).

As some of you may know, I recently got a job at well-known chain of coffee shops. Today I had to make over 8 different types of drinks as part of my training and had to drink over half of them. That's a lot of caffeine AND a lot of calories. By the end of my shift I was so wired and buzzed, I made it back to campus from center city in under ten minutes. Also, I'm shaking a lot. Woo!

Before my imminent caffeine crash, I would like to share with you, my lovely readers (by the way is that a new shirt? It's looks fantastic. Oh, you've had it for a couple months now? Well I think you should wear it more often) some of my most favorite places to get coffee in the good ol' Lehigh Valley. I would do Philadelphia but I still have one more coffee house to go to before I can order and rank them all.

Here it go:

Best coffee for Thespians and their Families: Hava Java

Located in Allentown's "West End", Hava Java makes for a nice little stop before or after a show at the civic theatre and/or its movie annex. I have only been there a few times after catching a movie at the annex BUT the coffee was really good. I cannot recall too much about it except there were almost always people sitting outside at night when I drove past it. The floor is also pretty neat! Black and white tile from what I remember. I JUST read on their MySpace that they have changed hands but everything will pretty much be the same. Good news for you regulars! Also, if you ever need eyeglasses, a family friend owns a neat little shop right next door. Go in and tell them Andrew sent you.

Best Coffee if you like Hot Topic / You Have a Time Machine that Goes Back Three Years Ago: King Koffee

Okay, maybe this title is a little jaded and bias, but oh well, such is bloggery. Back in the tenth and eleventh grade this Emmaus coffee shop used to be the cat's meow. Every Friday (and most Saturdays) practically everyone that mattered went. I cannot really remember what we did since we rarely bought drinks. Card games, laughter, sitting outside, sitting on couches, etc. etc. Sometimes they would even have shows and that was always an experience. Eventually the older kids stopped going and a younger generation took their spot (enter: Nightmare Before Christmas hoodies, safety pins, and even mesh shorts). Food and drink-wise, they have a vast selection. It's still a pretty nice place to go I'm sure... ya know, if you avoid the weekends. Also open-mic night was always interesting. Check it out sometime.

Best Coffee if you are a Thirty-Something: Perk Cafe

Oh Perk. You are a mystery! In the beginning the small coffee house closed before 1:00p.m. and sponsored one of the High School powder puff teams. Now it seems to be open later and thriving! I have been a few times and always feel out of place as one of the younger customers in the place. Fantastic coffee and other little treats sure to delight those born in the 70's and earlier! The place is always jumping on Sundays and makes for a fantastic stop post-Emmaus Farmer's Market.

Best Place to get Coffee All Night: Dunkin Donuts (The one by Carrabba's!)

Oh gosh. I don't care what anyone says, double D is the best chain coffee house around. It's such a good price too. Also, they call me "chief" when I go in so that's neat. A downside is that there are huge posters of Rachel Ray everywhere. They're open 24 hours so whether you're living it up at the NERD center or bored, stop in.


Best Coffee Overall: Mas Cafe

I discovered this gem far too late in the summer! I mentioned it in an earlier post that urged supporting local businesses and I'll do it again. I never had anything else there but seriously, if you like coffee, GO. The owners are young newlyweds who always wanted to open a coffee shop and went all over the place getting ideas for theirs and finally opened shop. Free wi-fi too. Woop.



Those are a few of my favorite coffee places but there are probably some more out there in the Valley (such as Bethlehem, but that's a bit of a drive). Diners are always a good place for coffee too and the Lord Jesus Above Us knows that there are piles of diners in the valley. Some are mean and only provide one free refill. Do not give these places your money.

Okay! So look forward towards more coffee updates. Also, this weekend should hopefully be nuts and I'll stuff to tell you alllll about.

Collegiate Health Issues

Being in college, you are exposed to many new things: People from different backgrounds than you, Professors with indiscernible accents, homeless people accosting you everyday (for the kids who attend inner-city universities!), and all things illegal and nastie. In addition to these confusing, painful experiences there are other things that are almost impossible to avoid: Health issues.

I have composed a few a case studies of some memorable health issues I have seen over the three semesters I have been at the University. **All names and images have been edited to protect the identities of the ill.** Oh and also I'm not a doctor. I am majoring in Spanish and French so do not take these case-studies as real deal ways to live your life. I can give you some sweet tunes or vegan cooking tips, but no real medical advice.

Case Study #1: ~*The Kissing Disease*~

Also known as mono or infections mononucleosis, this common collegiate disease has been ravaging the body of my good friend **Clint Pepsiley** for almost a month now. She ain't no hoe, so I know she didn't get it from sleeping around. BUT she is no stranger to sharing food / drinks soo that's probably the deal.

Prevention: Do not share anything, ever.

Symptoms: Fatigue, swollen lymph nodes, and sore throat. Ya know, basically the same symptoms of every other disease.

Coping: Rest up! If your lungs stop working or if you feel that your symptoms are getting worse, go see a doctor, he'll probably give you some high-quality meds.

Pros: Good excuse for not going to class. Also keeps away any grossies or are pursuing you (romantically).

Cons: Swollen lymph nodes.
Here you can see Clint enjoyed hours of hiking and skiing in the mountains. The after picture is an artist rendering since she has not left her room in days. Note the extreme pallor, swollen lymph nodes, and how the green eyeshadow compliments her hair and eyes.

Case Study #2: Urinary Tract Infection

You hear about it on The View all the time, but you never think it could happen to you, a normal person, and then BAM, painful urination. You've got the UTI. Was it the time you couldn't hold it in any longer and used the filthy bathroom at Starlight Ballroom after Girl Talk? The time you went hiking with no undies on? Or how about your little after hours "encounter" with that kid who rides a fixed gear but also doesn't shower often?

For **Silky Sasslady**, it still remains a mystery. It seemed that every time I had lunch with her, she was gulping down glasses upon glasses of cranberry juice to get rid of her infection.

Prevention: Clean it out. Avoid dirty people.

Symptoms: Painful urination, pain in the danger zone, and pain all around. Oh and you pee a lot. Painfully.

Coping: The best thing to do is drink lots of cranberry juice and pee. And of course, see a doctor.

Pros: All the cranberry juice you can drink! Oh and if you're a guy, a pro is that your urethra is way longer than a girl's so your chances of getting it are way lower!!!

Cons: It burns.

Before, Silky had sassy fashion and an affinity for fat cats. After her UTIs (judging from this picture) she's on an Indian reservation, turning tricks for sailors. Remember: Cranberries.

Case Study #3: Rhinovirus

The rhinovirus is the common cold. That's all. There was a Rugrats episode about it. While it may be common, it's also really annoying and affects basically everyone I know. My coppertopped friend **Leia Beauty** had it for alooong time last year and we still reminisce about it today.

Prevention: Pff, good luck. Just kidding. Rest is very important. The more run down you are, the more susceptible you are to the virus. Take vitamin C and wash your hands a lot (basically to the point of obsession where your hands are constantly chaffed and bleeding).

Symptoms: You're familiar.

Coping: Stock up on tissues and cough medicine (Avod robo-trips). Rest and drink HOT tea. Also, don't sniffle or cough for fifty minutes in class. It's your problem, leave your drama at the door.

Pros: Having a cold is the absolute worst. NO PROS. Although, Leia is a pro at having it.

Cons: The whole lot of it! But having a stuffy nose is pretty awful. Take advantage of being able to breathe normally when you can.

Before, Leia enjoyed working with produce, now she's a rhino flying up to heaven... Pysch! I just like fantasy artwork a lot.

Case Study #4: Alcohol Poisoning
How much XXX is in that jungle juice? Did I just have four shots or fourteen? Beer before liquor never ___? All things to ask yourself while you are unwinding over the weekend from the trials and tribulations of being in college. This is not for anyone specifically, just a general case study that's tremendously common on campus.

Prevention: Abstinence. But if that doesn't work, remember that your body is a temple. Call its number and get some information on it, like its hour of operations, can you take photographs once inside, restaurants in the vicinity of the temple, and most importantly your limits.

Symptoms: They say hiccuping is one of the first signs. Vomiting is always a good indicator too! But the best way to be sure someone is full up on the booze, is blacking out. But in all seriousness, please tone down your drinking and don't even get near the point of vomiting. Besides, lots of people have to pee and you are holding up the line by clutching the toilet all night.

Coping: Time heals all wounds.

Pros: None. Except maybe that .25 seconds after you throw up and you feel really good and invincible, but really, those .25 seconds of bliss aren't worth 4.25+ hours of death.

Cons: The whole deal. Bad news bears all around.
It's all fun and thumbs-up, but before you know it, you can't keep yours eyes open and someone's combing your hair with a brush that popped out of a plush pregnant cat toy thing.



Yes yes, so thankfully nobody I'm acquainted with has had anything TOO serious happen to them, but ya know, all these things are bad in their own way.

Stay informed and know whats up so you can avoid these common collegiate health issues and perfect your no nasties lifestyle.

Goodnight!

Interweb Sensations

The semester is winding down and that means I am bombarded with work.

Tonight for instance, I need to memorize 20 Japanese verbs and conjugate them into some weird tense that the American language does not even have. A whole tense to express being extra-polite when asking to do something?? Absurd.

Also I need to write a five page paper as to why Henry David Thoreau, Mahatmas Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. are all similar. All I've got so far is that they are a bunch of dead white guys who did super-violent things to oppress their fellow people. The end.

So to keep you entertained while I suffer, I will donate to you, one YouTube video AND a website to provide some jokes for you.

Donation One: "Christmas Tree". This fellow produces some high-quality funny stuff. His 'Jackie and Debra' video is a bit funnier but I thought the Christmas tree video was more topical since billions of trees are being cut down every minute.


Donation Two: Your Scene Sucks

The latest contribution to poking fun at stereotypes (see: Hipster Handbook, Star Wars franchise, Ann Coulter) is the interweb sensation and book 'Your Scene Sucks'. Some stuff hits dead on, while other stuff I never even heard of. Oh well. **Bonus points if you can find yourself!!!**

Paris, je t'aime.

In honor of me procrastinating a French composition, I decided to give you un petit cadeau (small gift): Five of my favorite songs in French!

Voila! Hurry before they are no longer available.

1. Tous Les Garcons et Les Filles -- Francoise Hardy

Ahh, the quintessential French sixties pop song (also known as yé-yé). I played this song over and over as dinner music at the restaurant. I believe it's about being alone and not having a significant other. Good times! Expect to see more about Francoise Hardy from time to time on here.

2. Les Champs-Elysées -- Joe Dassin

If you're a fan of Wes Anderson, this song is probably familiar to you. It was used for the end credits music of "The Darjeeling Limited". It's a nice upbeat song and is usually playing when I am doing homework or something that requires ATTENTION.

3. Boum! -- Charles Trenet

Another song you might have heard, this one is featured in an ad for Absolut vodka. It apparently makes light of the violent protests popular in France! I don't know what it has to do with alcohol really, BUT it's a classic French song from 1938.

4. C'est les Temps des Vacances -- Pierre Lalonde

Sixties French music was very popular in the restaurant. People were always commenting on how much they liked. This song was popular and while it's a bit too summery-sounding for right now, I really like the catchy / campy vibe.

5. Si Tu N'étais pas La -- Frehel

In one of my favorite scenes from Amèlie, this song is played in le métropolitain on an old gramophone record player. Basically, I've been listening to it ever since and was another song that received comments in the restaurant.

Remember, this songs are just for samplin'! I suggest you go out and buy the artists' music and support them! These songs are only available for a very short amount of time. HURRY.

I hope you enjoy these chansons françaises as much as I enjoyed not writing about Albert Camus' L'étranger.

Rats in the Cellar

The best way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon is watching an old-timey movie. Specifically "What ever Happened to Baby Jane?". The classic tale of the ups-and-downs of Hollywood and the ups-and-downs of putting Joan Crawford and Bette Davis in the same movie.

If you're fascinated by Bette Davis' baby-hag look, do not fear! It can be obtained easily at Urban Outfitters. Who would ever guess that UO would sell terribly unattractive clothes suitable for mentally unstable old women??

Clear off the moth balls on your grammy's Sunday best dresses! It's time to go back in time and relive her (or maybe your) glory days. It helps if your grammy / nana / etc. was a child during the 20's. I feel like the designers of the Urban Outfitters dress were watching the movie while sketching the design. Add a ribbon to it and it's basically exactly like the one in the clip. The headband keeps back your matted manes and also says "Hey, I'm old, but I know what the kidz like" with shimmering shining ~*jewels*~. As far as jewelry goes, just throw on as much junk and metallic things as possible (bangles and clangy things will let people know you're coming, and they'll appreciate that!). Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis' character) loves alcohol almost as much as regular Urban Outfitters shoppers so a glass bottle necklace is the perfect way to tote around your little "pick-me-up" to get through your day, one sip at a time*. For finishing touches, shellac and schmear pancake make-up on to hide / fill in those wrinkles. Tammy Faye Baker (RIP) probably took inspiration from the "Bette Davis eyes" featured in this film. Use fake eye-lashes or perhaps just coat your eyes every half hour in thick black mascara. Lastly, a little drawn on heart-shaped beauty mark will really let the boys know you're in it to win it!

Enjoy what remains of your Sunday night!

*No Nasties does not condone alcoholism, but ya know, if it keeps you going, it's better than being dead right? Right.

Spot On Then

Every now and then I catch a commercial for some sort of collaboration between Target and some mildly-interesting designer but I never get too excited since it always clothing for the girls. I recently decided just to check out the latest designer the other day and also to browse the "Young Men" section. Imagine my surprise when I discovered there was a collaboration for GUYS.

The designer, Keanan Duffty, created an entire line inspired by David Bowie. There are seven 'looks' that are supposed to cover the many phases of Bowie's career. Much to my disappointment, it appears that they skipped over Bowie's glam-rock, Space Oddity, and even Labyrinth looks and made his looks more consumer-friendly. I don't know how well silver jumpsuits with capes and Gothic ball-gown type "ensembles" would have sold in the discount department store but you can bet they would have had some of my dollars...

Here are some highlights:
Ahh, it's interesting that Target is selling tighter pants for guys and if this was two years ago (before I plunked down the $$$ for my jeans) I'd be all over these $29.99 jeans. These pants do not look extremely tight which I'm assuming is comforting for Target's target consumers. You can always sew them up to make them tighter though!!! Chang chang.

This look is called the "UK Alien". The description says it's inspired by Bowie's glam-rock period and consists of three things: the jacket, button-up shirt, and the skinny jeans. The jacket is the best part and is probably my favorite piece. The only thing glam about it though is its seventies styling. It also comes with a weird studded belt but uhhh, I suggest you don't wear it.

The second look is called "Twisted Mister" which sounds like it would allude to Bowie's more gender bending outfits but alas, it looks more like standard H&M gear. I like the (affordable) vest though. Classy!

At first I got excited because I thought this was some sort of ruffly-front tuxedo shirt but those lines are actually lyrics to 'Let's Dance'. While I love the song, I'm a bit tired of screen-printing everything in weird ways.

I'm not a fan of blazers + t-shirts and I won't make exceptions but I do like each item on their own. The blazer is clean, tailored, and most importantly very affordable. And as far as screen-printed lightening bolts go, this one is acceptable.

Ehh, bleh. Puffy vests. On the plus side, for you Anglophiles, the back of the vest looks like a union jack. I like this hoodie though, if I came across it in the store, I'd probably buy it.

You can see the rest of the looks and items here and of course buy some online.

Most everything in the collection is black, grey, or white which is a bit boring compared to the other very colorful collections (see their Paul & Joe collection) but hey,I enjoy the greyscale for wintertime and most anytime. The collaboration for girl's by Erin Fetherston has really a really great polished sixties look. It's all very Jackie O. Hopefully the menswear collaborations will continue and improve.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

It's Always Black Friday in Thrift Stores

Today is national 'Buy Nothing Day' according to the culture jamming website Adbusters (the creators of TV Turn-Off Week and their fun little magazine). Instead of going out at 2 a.m. to buy 'Weeds' on DVD, the Canadian magazine publishers suggest you do not buy ANYTHING. Ultimately, they hope you will lower your consumerism to virtually nothing. Obviously this idea does not appeal to most people so instead, I have an economically better plan (and not just for you!).

I suggest you go out and support your community and local businesses instead. Not only do you get to spend your $$Black Friday billz$$ but all your money will go towards some good things.

Instead of going to a corporate chain coffee store, go to your local cafe. If you're in the Lehigh Valley, I highly recommend "Mas Cafe" in the triangle of Emmaus. The husband-wife team sell the best tasting coffee in the valley for affordable prices and in a great atmosphere.

Dining is another thing to do locally as opposed to popping in a 'Friendly's'. Today my mother and I went to my old alma mater "Balasia". As always the food was FANTASTIC. In addition to being fantastic, it was completely vegan, all organic, and the produce is bought from local, organic farmers. Three great things for your community, animals, and your body.

Now, the most prominent part of Black Friday is the shopping. As far as electronics and other crazy stuff, I suggest you hold off on the things you do not really need. Allll of your apparel needs can be fulfilled with thrift stores. If you live in Philadelphia, your thrift store options are very slim and always expensive. If you live in the Lehigh Valley though, your thrift stores are a gold mine!

Here is a guide to local thrift stores in order of decent to great:

6. Once is not Enuff
A popular choice for "ladies". And by ladies, this means my mother a few years ago and some friends who were looking for sequin gowns. I do not go here since they only sell women's clothing and it is not extremely cheap. My fondest memory of the place is telling my mother that they should rename it "100 Times is not Enuff" since she dragged me there so often. Some pros are that the window displays change frequently and according to their website they receive new clothing daily. You can also sell your clothing there too. Drawbacks include the prices and that I am not sure if it is non-profit or not.

5. Goodwill (Tilghman Shopping Center)
There are two Goodwills near me and the one is located in the Tilghman Shopping Center. It is also my least favorite of the two. They used to have a sign on the door forbidding more than two "teens" from coming in together at a time. If you ever have time to kill before a movie at the Tilghman 8 or you would rather not spend $8.95+ on "clucks and fries" from Red Robin's, then the trip is worth the walk over. Jen and I went today and were underwhelmed. The men's section is very small but the knick knacks and records are spot-on.

4. The Attic
Located on the main street of Kutztown, this chic-er thrift store is a bit out of the way for most Lehigh Valley citizens but well worth the drive. I have only been a few times but have seen something I want every time. They have a great selection, even for guys stuff. It's comparable to Retrospect in terms of the type of clothes they sell and the employees ' attitude but it lacks Retrospect's high prices. The store also has neat artwork, jewelry and furniture. Go check it out.

3. Goodwill (Trexlertown)
The better of the two Goodwills is located in the Trexlertown Shopping Center located near Big Lots. Jen and I went today and the place was nuts! There was a silent auction that involved a lot of yelling, plates of half-eaten cookies and pretzels, and more Guess purses than Anna Nicole Smith (R.I.P.) could shake a pregnancy-test stick at. They usually have some neat t-shirts and crazy lady's shorts. Today we found nothing but usually I can find a Partridge Family album or Jen gets a crazy purse.

2. Sumner Family Thrift
Brush up on your Spanish skills and save some dollars at Allentown Family Thrift, better known as Sumner, located on the corner of Sumner and New St. in Allentown. If I can only make it to one close-by thrift store, I always make this my number one stop (the number one thrift store is a bit of a drive). I can always find really neat sunglasses and / or eyeglass frames. The clothes of course are also really good. Every day there is some sort of deal, whether 20% for college students or discounted tag prices. Other great features include 25 cent coffee tables from time to time and a fun costume and wig section. Drawbacks include other customers (who like to throw down with me) and the employees (who are none too friendly / helpful).

1. Salvation Army
The king of all thrift stores is the Salvation Army. The reason it is number one is because it always has great sales. The other day when I went THREE different colored tags were 50% off. Another reason that it is number one is because I can almost always find something there and have bought more clothes there than any other thrift store. I usually have to sew them up to fit right, but the end result is fantastic. Another plus: the sheer size of it all!!! Honestly I've never been in a bigger Salvation Army. No drawbacks really, an all around great place for thrifting.

I hope my extensive and opinionated guide to thrifting in the LV will help you. It's a shame Philadelphia lacks in that department!

I'll leave you with a webcam image of my dad and his Russian girlfriend in Key West. Oh the times they have had!

Pennsylvania Deutsch Wonderland

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ahh the 80's, when father had burly facial hair and auntie wore weird sweaters and acid wash jeans. My favorite holiday is most certainly Thanksgiving. There's nothing I love more than eating a fantastic late lunch with my family. This Thanksgiving was particularly enjoyable since I have not been home since August 23rd. Instead of going to my nana's house for her usual feast, my great-aunt invited us out to Amish Country for dinner at a smörgåsbord. While change and new experiences makes me queasy, I had an overall great time with the family.

Being in Lancaster reignited my love of my prominent Pennsylvania Deutsch and distant Amish background so I thought I'd make that today's theme for food and style!

The best dessert EVER is Shoo Fly Pie ( unless your my mother or nana who prefer another PA deutsch dessert known as 'funny cake' ).
It's basically a layer of molasses and then a coffee-cake type of deal on top of that with a delicious pie crust. If you are ever anywhere near me, ask me to make you one. If you don't know me or are far away, go buy one in Lancaster. If NEITHER of my suggestions appeal to you, simply come back here tomorrow and I might share my (vegan) version of my favorite PA deutsch treat.

As far as style goes, a lot can be learned from our primitive / uncivilized brethren, the Amish. Their clothes are (unsurprisingly) all about simplicity BUT also bold colors. So for something as simple and American as the Amish, look no further than American Apparel for all your Amish-couture!



A solid color collared shirt, black button-up vest and a pair of (almost)black slim slacks will have you raisin' barns til the morning!



November is marriage month for the Amish and you'll be sure to win over every Mr. Smucker and Mr. Ackernecht in the community in this baby blue collared shirt and skirt outfit. What the ankle-revealing skirt lacks in demut ( or humility ), the high-waist and opaque pantyhose make up for it enough so that all Ordnung ( community council ) can agree on!

Now put a little rumspringa in your step with these outfits only the English would wear:



Shiny and unnatural fabrics are forbidden in the Amish community thus a lamé windbreaker and nylon shorts are the perfect way to stick it the conscientious objectors! Wearing a work-shirt on the outside is the pickled cabbage in the chow-chow!



I'm pretty sure there is a passage in the Bible that says women are not allowed to wear men's clothing (take note all you biddies who buy up all the small sizes in the guy's sections of my favorite stores!) so wearing your brother's overalls and a wide necked leotard is a surefire way to go straight to hell in style. I read that the most popular color amongst Amish women is purple. This fancy party dress in purple is not your old memmy's wedding attire! And finally, the brash and boldness of this polo dress looks shunnigly sinful paired with AA's silver cardigan.

So there you have it! All your Amish lusts and desires can be fulfilled (for a price!) at American Apparel.

I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving!

It Has Begun

Well I've finally decided to actually write here. I don't know where it's going to go really. But you can BET that there will be some good times ahead.

Things to count on:

• Adventures
• Photographic images
• Jenny G
• Thrifting
• Incorporation of four different languages
  
• Occurrences in Philadelphia
• Happenings in the Lehigh Valley
• Hannah
• Fiestas de Temple
• Cooking and Baking
• Crying
  
• Tears
• Sewing up those tears
• General YouTubery
• Advanced YouTubery
  
• Much much more!

So why 'No Nasties'? Well, it's the way in which I live. How does one define a 'nastie'? It can be anything from High Fructose Corn Syrup to uncommonly foggy weather during November when you think you do not have to worry to much about humidity but BAM, there it is. By reading this blog I hope you, the reader, can learn from my no nasties lifestyle and embrace all things enjoyable and invigorating.

To get us off on the right foot, here is one of my most favorite things given to me by one of my most favorite persons, Jordan: