28 March 2008

Obama Takes Time to Enjoy the View

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My favorite presidential hopeful, Barack Obama stopped by my favorite estrogen fest, The View.

Pre-serious talk:

--Barbara Walters chose pantyhose that made her legs look darker than Sherri's exposed legs
--Elisabeth Hasselbeck looked uncomfortable and silent
--Joy called Barbara old

Serious talk:

--Racism chit-chat straight off the bat
--Specifically, Obama talkin' about his preacher
--Elisabeth comes out as a republican?!
--Obama does not purchase every DVD that his church puts out (illegal downloading maybe??)

While watching I came up with a fun drinking game:

Take a sip of coffee (from your brand new spring-edition View mug) every time one of the following happens:

--Obama says 'America'
--Barbara makes an intense concentrating face
--Whoopi says "no child"
--Sherri talks about sex with her ex-husband
--Joy mentions something completely off-topic / something about her Italian heritage
--Elisabeth declares herself Republican (in her defense, she is always immaculately dressed)

During the commercial break, a cute commercial for 'bladder weakness protection pads' came on. Reminds me of a few "close-calls" on the road. Also, a humorous commercial for hot pockets where the one guy's mom says no junk food but he has stocked up his cart with hot pockets. It's okay though because they are made with real cheese and 0g trans fat.

First three things Obama will do as president:

1. Get a meeting together to discuss how to responsibly and honorarily get out of Iraq
2. Put forth legislation that will give every American health care
3. Fix the energy prices

First three things he will probably do:

1. Fix his tie
2. Do that thing where you stand in the center of a newly acquired room (be it dorm, freshly cleaned bedroom, or house) and you put your hands in your pocket, looked around, smile, and breathe deep.
3. Light a Yankee Candle brand candle (Home Sweet Home or Autumn Harvest) to get rid of that Bush smell

More Obama fun:

"Skinny but tough" -- New bumper sticker for Obama (and MySpace headlines for years to come)
--No spouses in the Whitehouse (we're electing A president, not a couple of empty-nesters.

Commercial break where I discovered that Jennifer Galbraith's prediction about genie pants came true:

I bought acid wash, will I invest in these?? Nope. I love tapered pants, but not in soft sweatpant material with an elastic waistband and a weird pooch.

***NEWSFLASH*** Sherri Shepherd has changed her own VIEW and is now voting for Obama. My guess is that Chelsea Clinton will be making a phone call any second.

--Elisabeth handled a jab at John McCain with grace and poise.
--Do I secretly have a strange masochistic crush on Ms. Hasselbeck?
--Sherri said "You gonna be in trouble Barbara!" when Obama mentions getting rid of Bush's tax cuts for the rich

"Barbara Walters: Richer than God? The Life and Times of My Guest Appearances on Everybody Love's Raymond, by Sherri Shepherd"

Joy was uncharacteristically silent... what's up Joy?? Where's that Sicilian sass that makes me laugh, and my nana's eyes roll.

And that was the show!

Marvelous.

Did you enjoy it?

Was it the best episode ever?

Even better than the time Kathy Griffin co-hosted? Or the time Alicia Silverstone snubbed E. HasselB?

How different do you think it would have been if Rosie O'Donnell had been on?

Yeah you're right, probably a lot more gay stuff. Or at least one thing about broadway.

Please direct all comments, love, praises, raves, hate-mail, and tuna melt subs to Star Jones PO Box 42069 Crime TV Ave, New York NY, 19122.

No Nasties: First to blog to blog about Obama's apperance on the View and the genie pants renaissance in the same post.

2 comments:

Hannah Schulman said...

That was the best live blogging I've ever read. So much giggles.

Charlie said...

Live blogs are the best. I LOVE Elisabeth (for no real reason. I have almost completely fallen out of love w/ The View recently though. Idk why, but I guess they're just starting to bug me. and Whoopi is no Rosie or Star Jones. Iwish there had been more gay stuff or at least something about broadway!